Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
