Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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