my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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