maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
