we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
