And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
