Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
