It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
