its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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