We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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