I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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