Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
