everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
