The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize