i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
