youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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