Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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