new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
