Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
