sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
