fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
