Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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