As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
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