i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize