After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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