no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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