Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
