It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just want to make out with him forever
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
