I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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