Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
