Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
