I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
