Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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