with your own penis?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize