16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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