I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
bring money and cleavage
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
