There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
