just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
