and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
