remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
