gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize