I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
