What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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