You smell like stripper and shame
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
