Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
