he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
