so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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