you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
