So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
