ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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