hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
