Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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