The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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