This is not my ceiling
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
