The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
