Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
