Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
