Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
