Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
