before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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