8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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