dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
