Non-Jews are for practice
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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