I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
