think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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